what i read today

this reminds me of my dad. and what it is to (try to) write.


by Wendell Berry, from Given:




HOW TO BE A POET
(to remind myself)


Make a place to sit down.
Sit down. Be quiet.
You must depend upon
affection, reading, knowledge,
skill - more of each
than you have - inspiration,
work, growing older, patience,
for patience joins time
to eternity. Any readers
who like your work,
doubt their judgment.


Breathe with unconditional breath
the unconditioned air.
Shun electric wire.
Communicate slowly. Live
a three-dimensioned life;
stay away from screens.
Stay away from anything
that obscures the place it is in.
There are no unsacred places;
there are only sacred placed
and desecrated places.


Accept what comes from silence.
Make the best you can of it.
Of the little words that come
out of the silence, like prayers
prayed back to the one who prays,
make a poem that does not disturb
the silence from which it came.

a day off

aaaahhhhhhh!

i can't remember the last time i had a real day off. but MY OH MY it feels good. :)

the last two weeks have been crazy busy around our house. some of my most dear friends came to town yesterday, and i used the visit as a deadline to get waaay too many house projects done.

the house is still not "done", mind you. there are still walls to paint, baseboard to install, and office and a bedroom to set up, trim to put up, curtains to buy or make or whatever. and the list goes on. but the garden is planted, the guestroom is finally habitable, and we finally switched our bedroom and office furniture. oh, and the best part, is our bathroom flooring is *finally* in, thanks to our good friend CR. he's the best.

so after a long and wonderful evening catching up and feeding and laughing with some of my oldest and dearest, as well as some new additions to our ever-widening circle, i find myself alone at home with some time on my hands. and it's a really good feeling.

my belly is full from a last minute brunch date, there are farm fresh eggs in my fridge from a last minute stop across the bridge, i'm listening to my favorite radio news trying to get caught up on what i've been missing since i've had my head in the sand. and i'm finally able to make a post. and that always makes me feel like my life is back in balance.

now, time to put all the house projects on hold and soak up this summer! arizona family are in town, there are drive-in movies to see, and i start my letterpress printing apprenticeship tomorrow. summer is my favorite.



sorry to my lovelies that i couldn't make it to the City today, i need to take some time to recharge. but i miss you guys already!!!

~ marit

love

my mom picked up this postcard with a photo of a chalkboard with this handwritten across it in not too neat handwriting. i think it pretty much sums up why i'm always falling in love so easily. i'll share a pic of my latest love (this time it's a piece of furniture, well, actually it's more than that) very soon.
thanks for thinking of me when you saw this mom. ~ marit 

" LOVE: when your energetic heart expands out of your body so far it explodes joy and color all over the world around you in such a way that all your beauty is reflected back at you. then your spirit says 'Ahhh... that's the purpose.' "

(from a Mountain Sage Medicine postacard picked up at Mother's Market Pace in Hood River, OR)

morning glory

i'm eating my first apricot of the year at this very moment. that sweet familiar tang, it's been too long! so hard to put down between typing sentences. the soft babyskin. my favorite sunset orange to fuchsia. the way the flesh folds, welcomes, doesn't even hint at putting up a fight. like it wants me to eat it.

one more bite.

yes! and that dark pit, long time no see old friend.

how did you get here, into my home, into my hand. so perfect. so ancient. so fresh. thank you for the visit. as always, much too short.

there's something primal about my love of seasonal fruit. all you dear friends in california don't have to wait so long between growing seasons like we do here, lucky bastards. but the longing and waiting and the first bite. what a precious cycle.

apricot you are definitely my favorite fruit.

at least until those nectarines ripen.
~ marit

summer salad

here in the PNW we get a little excited about the sun. since we don't get much of it.
but this weekend, this weekend is more than just the first real sunny weekend, since I just finished up spring quarter on thursday. it's the real beginning of summer!

tonight we have a retirement/birthday party to head to, tomorrow we might hit up the local wooden boat festival. then i'm off to BelovedCity a couple times this week. maybe hit up the farmers market. then some shopping, camping, a trip to the ocean... ah! i love summer!

right now i'm suffering from a major allergy attack... maybe something i got into at the nursery yesterday? so i'm not on my a-game today, and it feels baaad not being able to take full advantage of the weather. damn allergies!!! i haven't been knocked out by them for year, so i really wasn't prepared. if only i was the kind of person who could take a real nap. i try, but i end up torturing myself cause i can't ignore all the ideas or thoughts or worries or inspirations that float through my head on a sunny afternoon. it's horrible, better to find my fuzzy-headed way to the computer and get my post done. even if it's just so i can tag SCU back. (you're IT!)

at least i got my pea and carrot seeds sown this morning. and i made an epic salad, with seven different herbs from my garden. :)

that dirty plate to the right is just some crumbs from my super awesome everything bagel with cream cheese. eaten on my back porch, pooch at my feet, kitty on the other chair, looking out at my new garden. don't think it gets much better than this.

have i mentioned how much i love summer?
even on a crappy day, it sure beats the hell out of any other season.
~ marit

ancestral knowledge

"Obama's election brought a black man into office, but does he bring black culture with him? How do we carry culture forward along with biological race - which is not even a scientific reality? How do we learn the lessons from our history of displacement, slavery, and colonization, and discover each other and all the cultural history that we carry? 

"With the ecological situation we're in, it's ancestral knowledge that we especially need to connect with. Then we can access the secrets for taking care of the planet we're on."

~ Adrienne Maree Brown, in response to the issue of changing our national self-image
(Yes! Magazine, Spring 2010, Issue 53, p.19)

early bird

did anyone else see the Olympics this morning? in all their snowcapped sunshiney splendor?

such are the spoils of the early bird.

it's been so nice to get back on schedule this week. making reier lunch, early walks with tove, plenty of time to get ready and do my morning writing, and even time to check in here on my blog! i hate rushing, and i hate not having enough time for things. amazing how small adjustments can lead to monumental changes...
and a much better mood :)

i'll try to remember to bring my phone tomorrow so i can take a photo of the sweet may morning for you.

enjoy this sunshine!
~ marit

ps - your turn, SCU!

more to come

quick note before i head off to class:

this week i am kicking my self in the be-hind to get my life back in balance. i went running this morning. and on my run i vowed to get to this blog more often. i want to say everyday, but i know that's not gonna happen. no high-quality content here, as you all know, but higher quantity means a happier and healthier me, so here i go again, promising to write more...

and, of course,  i opened my email just now and read a new post from a dear friend of mine who is dealing with this very same blog problem (guess we all do!), and she's asking for help! ha! maybe it will help us both to know we're not alone. :) 

ah, sweet synchronicity! thanks for being there for me today samantha, and for being so perfectly you.

xoxo,
marit

preparing for a new look, direction

i've had this blog for a while now and all of you who "follow" me, and those of you who drop in once in a while, probably know that i write about all kinds of things here. there's really no rhyme or reason. this may change in the near future as my life starts take on some new definition and shape, but for the time being please bear with me!

i know some of you are blogging yourself. i'd love to hear how that's been going for you... what changes you've made in your approach... how you manage to keep at it over time... etc. etc.

and most importantly, how do you keep from becoming a slave to your blog???
(i am obviously not a slave to this blog, but i do feel awful guilty when i don't write... which makes it harder to sit down and write at all! ack - what's up with that?!)

at any rate, this standard backdrop caught my eye today. not exactly the look i'm going for, but it will do for now. i find it a nice change from the trendy wood grain, don't you?

there's so much to catch up on, but all i think i'll do for today is make this one small change.

check back soon for more updates on letterpress and gardening ~ i think you'll like. :)

marit

steweart/post approved belated thank you

this year i have been completely awful. i definitely intended to send out thank you cards for my birthday (after i had given up on the idea of getting my crap together in time to send out holiay thank yous), but alas my birthday month came and went, and so did the next month, and here we are in march. and it's almost over as well.
so, i was resigned to let it go, and let go of the fact that my friends may think me ungrateful, or at least flaky and unorganized.
you would all forgive me, right?

(i mean, it's not like all my friends send thank you cards, and i never think twice about it. in fact, i've never thought about it once until now. ack - that's so me to have such double standards for myself!)



so then the other day, out of the blue, a sweet friend of mine surprised me with a belated birthday gift! it was so wonderful and charming of her to think of me, and to just go ahead and give me a gift months later. it totally made my day. thanks winter ~ i love love love the soap!!!

and it made me think, maybe my friends would feel the same kind of delightful surprise if i were to send a thank you note all these months later. just a thinking-of-you-and-wanting-to-thank-you type thing. it's never too late according to martha and elizabeth. (wink wink)

so even though i might not get to write out a real thank you card, all of you who were so wonderful to me on my big 3-0 birthday this year, THANK YOU! from the bottom of my little heart. i am so blessed to have such wonderful folks in my life, near and far. to Mom, for letting me leave town on our special day, and to Kevin, for making it all work out so perfectlly. to Tami & Mike and Lisa and Aimee. to Emily and Chris and Baby Della! to Ben & Melissa and Hap & Monica. to Grandma and Grandpa! to Michelle and Jeanne and Lisa and Naomi and Samantha, thank you for coming all the way to visit! to Justina - i miss you! and Winter, to you too. and of course, to you Reier, for wisking me away for the best birthday ever. and all the dear friends who called and sent texts and wrapped sweet gifts and posted to my wall ~ i love birthdays, and not because i'm an attentioncravingmadwoman, but just because i love love love my friends and i love the chance to get to hear from them. :)
sorry to be so impersonal! (and by gosh I hope I didn't leave anyone out!!!)

maybe if my first week of spring quarter classes next week goes smoothly, i'll have time to sit down and write it out. i think martha and elizabeth would be approve. but if not, i'll try to remember to spend the time next year to do it right. there's nothing like getting a real note in the mail, thank you or not. with a real stamp, and real handwriting. it's the simple stuff.

~ marit

aw shucks!

so this is what i woke up to earlier this week... i've got SUCH a sweetheart!!!
nice to get such a creative and romantic surprise to start off an otherwise dreary washington morning.  (anyone else ready for spring???) iit left a smile on my face that hasn't left.

and couldn't help share the love with you here. hope you're having a great weekend!

thanks for being so wonderful reier!
~ marit

happy birthday mama africa!

 

we grew up listening to miriam makeba's soulful voice, but i really haven't thought much about her in years. until today. it's international women's day, and it would have been her 79th birthday a few days ago is she were still alive. she was an amazing woman, spreading south african love and her message for peace and anti-apartheid activism around the globe through her music. i especially love the album she did in conjunction with norwegian musicians, it's magic.
check out The Click Song!

growing is forever

this is so beautiful it makes my heart hurt.
make sure you have the volume turned on.




Growing is Forever from Jesse Rosten on Vimeo.


thank you for sending this cynthia!
~ marit

waiting in line

i am currently sitting in line at the local community college where i've started back to school while unemployed. i'm working on a two year degree in graphic design, while getting some prerequisites taken care of for my masters (some day, some day).

it's a pretty cool plan, but this financial aid office or repayment or whatever it is is completely dysfunctional. every time i have dealt with them it's taken for-ev-er.

argh.

seems whoever is in charge seems to have forgotten the basic tenants of customer service.
i was pretty darn good at my job, and i was laid off. you'd think in a job market like this there would be some pressure to do decent work, at the very minimum.

boo.
~ marit

pneumonia

reier has been off work since last thursday, and since he is a type I diabetic, cold and flu season can be especially dangerous. high fevers lasted for days so he ended up in prompt-care (which is anything but prompt), and he can home with antibiotics and a tub of yogurt last night.

and this is the guy who rarely gets sick, works outside year round, and has the best work ethic and  attitude of anyone i know. 

being sick can really bring you down a notch or two. i think i've rented a grande totale of seven movies in the last few days, and every single one of the has brought him to tears  - "why'd you get all sad movies?". um, i think it was the sickness talking, poor guy!

i can't believe how SICK he's been, it's really awful. i'm trying my best to take care of him, but it's been a long haul. he's pretty darn sick of being sick by now. i wish there was more i could do to make him feel better. fevers, headaches, achey body. now strange coughing. sad. sad. sad!

meanwhile i've been working hard not to get sick myself, so housework piled up. laundry has been overflowing in the hallway, i didn't even know we owned that many dishes, not to mention personal hygiene. (not me, of course! i wasn't the one walking around in my robe all day. really.)

i was finally able to tackle housework today. a visit from my mother-in-law was good motivation  - thanks tami! now i think we're all able to rest a little easier. aaah.

and with dirty dishes out of the way, i decided to try to cook my very first dry roast. complete with a side of sauted garlic cabbage, and cheddar scallion mashed potatoes, yum! let's see if this is enough to bring back sicky's appetite.

the worst part about all of this has been the animal neglect: pup-pup has been such an angel considering all the missed walks and trips to the dog park. it's been freeeeezing outside! luckily one of her bdf's harriet has a super awesome giant fenced yard and lucky me gets to drop her off for play dates when i have errands to run and a sick husband to tend to. today i finally gave myself and attitude adjustment, threw on as many layers as i could possible wear and still walk (i looked more like an abominable something er other, it's true). and tove and i got out and walked the bridges, which is our usual routine. only today we did it about four hours later, cause 6am is just tooo early when we're in 'stay healthy' mode. we were happy to run into my mom, who then rescued me from cooped-up-ville and took me on a long drive to catch up. thanks mom, i really needed that. :)

i am sure of it now more than ever, i need routine. without it i/everything tends to fall apart.

so i've been neglecting my post here at complete. but now you know why. but i'll be back soon, with lots of updates on my recent projects. good stuff.
~ marit

good grades

check out the gorgeous bouquet i got from Reier yesterday. and my favorite color - he sure knows how to make me smile!

(we just found out that somebody got a 4.0 GPA last quarter... yessss!)

~ marit

getting organized

there's something about 2011. have you noticed?
something magic in the air, at least around here.

or maybe it's just the fact that it's a new year and i'm in a new house. either way, i'm getting organized!

i've started in the kitchen, and on the budget. i know, i know. i should be doing one thing at a time. but that's not really how i roll. so here we go, kitchen and budget.

i started out going through the kitchen and writing down everything that annoys me. and boy was that a long list.

then i talked it over with R, who always had great ideas and solutions. he's a problem solver. love it him.

we took a big load of stuff, from all over the house actually (didn't i say i can't just work on one thing at a time?), to goodwill last week. man that felt good!

it's been hardest with the things that i love, or used to love, that were given as gifts, or passed down to me from my late grandmas, etc. but i'm being really stubborn this time around. this time around i'm no longer a renter, shlepping my stuff from one 'home' to the next. this time i'm playing for keeps. and if that antique bowl never gets used and it's actually in the way... well it's got to go.

hey, this stuff makes for great birthday gifts to all my other junker-thrifter-antiquer friends!

next round in the kitchen was getting stuff organized. this is the tricky part. and i've been enlisting a great book by the great organizer queen regina leeds. love love love her.

i'm still not totally finished, and there will be a list of longer-term projects that need to be completed and things that need to be purchased, but it already feels so much bigger and more useful!

have i mentioned how much i love organizing????

the budget has also been a success. first step there was to get the hubby involved. (eh, i've never called him that before. how weird.) it's been slow going, cause he's one of not-into-details type guys(love you j-lo!). but he's interested in helping and i've been holding up a white flag on this one for quite a while.
thanks for stepping up this year dude!

we're starting off doing nothing different except getting really honest. we're looking into our expenses, like for real, like for the year. stuff like tp, you know, it adds up. and funny how it never really ends up on the budget, we just kinda have to find money for stuff like that as i comes up.

but not after we get done with this work. when we get done we're gonna have money for all our expenses, and know where to find it.

mostly this means tightening the belt in the short run. i am still unemployed after all. but as soon as the big bucks start rolling in (and they WILL!) we'll be ready. :)

let's see if i can work my way all the way through the basement before the year's over. 
here's to 2011!

~ marit

the dirty dozen

hey, i get it.
organic produce is expensive. extremely so.

but i do believe that spending a little extra whenever i can afford it can go a long way in keeping my body, my family, the people who pick our food, and the soil that it grows in a little healthier.

i recently came across an article that acknowledged how frustrating it is trying to buy organic produce on a limited budget. turns out, there are some foods that are known to carry more of the evil toxic pesticides than others. "as a general rule," the article says, "skinless or soft-skinned fruits and vegetables pose a greater pesticide risk than produce with thick skins, shells, or peels that are not eaten." good to know.

so, what fruits and veggies make the dirty dozen list? here ya go:

THE DIRTY DOZEN

1. celery

2. peaches

3. strawberries

4. apples

5. blueberries

6. nectarines

7. bell peppers

8. spinach

9. kale

10. cherries

11. potatoes

12. grapes

bummer, these are all the ones i buy regularly. but wait - the list of produce that's okay to buy non-organic, food that most likely won't be carrying much in the way of toxins, brings me hope. the article calls them the "clean 15" - cute. maybe if if spend less on these i'll have enough in my budget to splurge on the organic apples and spinach for my juicer. :) but just remember that produce like corn is most likely GMO if it's not organic, and that poses other threats all together. i've put an asterisk next to corn because it's probably better to buy organic corn anyway, or at least check the little sticker and make sure the number doesn't start with #8 (conventional produce labels start with a #4, and organic starts with #9)

THE CLEAN 15

1. onions

2. avocado

3. corn*

4. pineapples

5. mango

6. sweet peas

7. asparagus

8. kiwi

9. cabbage

10. eggplant

11. cantaloupe

12. watermelon

13. grapefruit

14. sweet potatoes

15. honeydew

in an effort to make our grocery budget actually work this year, i'm going to try this out. maybe if i can't afford the organic potatoes, we can eat sweet potatoes instead. i sure can't wait for farmers market season to start up again!

here's to trimmin' the fat, eh naomi?

and remember, it's always always better to buy local.
~ marit


ps - the article mentioned was titled "conventional produce" and can be found in delicious living, on page 32, in the september 10, 2010 issue. their source was the environmental working group (foodnews.org).

designerly duo

a couple weeks ago a dear friend of mine with a great eye for fashion sent me a link to emersonmade and i want to share it with you! i haven't had time to learn a whole lot about them yet (bad blogger, bad!) but i know that it's a husband and wife team (my fav) and he does all the photos and she does all the modeling. too sweet? i think not.

i'm completely smitten,
~ marit

a new look

2011's been around for about a month (it's going by pretty fast, don't ya think?), and i'm just settling back in from a week away on my very first vacation, ever.

we walked into our house and saw the furniture arrangement with fresh eyes - i think it was less than 20 minutes before i started rearranging. and driving around HomeTown we were surprised to see the town with fresh eyes too, buildings we'd never noticed before, street names we'd never really paid attention to.

and here on my blog, which i accidentally opened when i turned on the computer, i'm seeing things with fresh eyes too. the layout is all wrong, and the colors (or lack thereof) were a bit stale. so i played around and updated things a bit. i've been thinking about switching over to wordpad, but since i'm trying to use 2011 to SIMPLIFY my life, i don't want to take on a new project right now. so i'll stick with blogger, and try on a new look for a while.

i'm sure it will change again soon, so don't get too comfortable.

now, if i could just figure out a direction to take this here blog...
i'm open to suggestions!

keepin' it fresh,
~ marit

meet tove

 

this is tove. 

(say TOE-Va!)

she is the latest addition to our family.

she's a pound puppy, of course. and we're pretty sure she's an australian blue heeler and pitt bull mix. she's perfect. here she is with the humane society dude who helped me adopt her. 

 al was there when i found her, and she helped me navigate the strange and sudden reality of being a pet owner those first few hours. 

 

our first stop was the pet food store. we love natural for paws, all natural goodness for the pets we love. and everyone there loves Tove, she was a big hit that first day. but we weren't allowed to let her walk around because she was too young and didn't have all her shots, so we had to carry her around. big heavy baby!!!

 

she was reier's xmas present.
i think he likes her. 

 

i think he likes her a lot. 

 

i think he takes more pictures of her than i do.

and i think i take about forty pictures every day. 

she's just the cutest thing i've ever seen. 

 

the cutest thing other than tubbs, of course.
the kitty was soooooo pissed that we got a puppy. she made herself sick the first couple days and i was actually scared that she was going to die she was pooping and vomiting all over the place. she wouldn't eat a thing. just gave me stink eye all day long. 

 and the expensive vet bill was no fun - stubborn kitty!!!

 

but tubbs is worth it. she's my bestie, and still the queen of the house. she's still pretty pissed off, as you can see here. but i think she might finally be starting to accept the puppy, maybe? there's still plenty of daily hissing and swiping fits. that puppy is just so annoying.

 i'm glad reier doesn't think so. he spoils her constantly. no dogs on the couch!

yeah right.

 

no dogs in the front seat of the car!

yeah right. 

~

but i am pack leader. and they both know it.

 

i have a different approach to pampering the pooch. we go on lots of walks and get all worn out during the day, so she doesn't start eating my shoes. (keeping my fingers crossed on that one.)

 

and we take lots of trips to BelovedCity. i'm sure she spends more time in the back of the car than she'd like, but she hasn't crept up to the front and chewed the leather steering wheel yet, thank goodness for that! we get out and see the sights as much as possible. 

and we take as many walks as possible. it's good for tove cause she's a righteous ball of energy and she's gotta let it out. 

it's good for me too. i wouldn't be outside in the winter time this much if it wasn't for her. i wouldn't be tracking the season changing. i wouldn't be moving my body, getting as much natural vitamin D as you can from the grey january skies, or tromping through the snow on a blizzardy night with my sweetheart(s). she's changing me. 

and i like it.

 

this is tove with her best friend rosie, who's teaching her how to be a true herding dog. and how to share the water dish. we love rosie. we love rosie's parents (who've made it possible to live in bremerton!). and we love rosie's new baby sister. who happens to be human. and is amazing. (so amazing that i've been stuck figuring out how to write about her here. i'll get it figured out soon. you guys really need to meet her.)

xoxo

last week tove made new friends with hank and alli, whose parents we're just getting to know. we think they're all pretty rad. hank can walk on his back legs, and he got tove, the little punk, to submit right away. oh little chihuahua, you the man!

the first visit to the vet, Dr. B, was pretty awesome. we learned about tove's teeth and how her front two teeth will fall out and be replaced on *exactly* her 16 week birthday! cool. tove was a really good patient and didn't squirm when she had to get her temp taken like tubbs does. 

it was documented that tove has gained 6 pounds in the two weeks since we got her. geez!

so this puppy is a really big deal. she's teaching me a lot about who i am and who i can be. and she's making me, forcing me, to stay in the present moment. it's amazing how much she's taught me so far.

 

caring for someone else really does make your heart grow. 

 

and she really makes it easy. 

is it the ears???

(i mean, it's getting ridiculous, i even like the way she smells... like i reeely like it. 

seriously, who AM i??? )

 

thanks for checking in on us. tove can't wait to meet you!!! lick you!!! gnaw on you!!!

xoxo

~ marit

winter break!

it's the last day of class! is there any better feeling?

(maybe next week when i get done with finals i'll be able to answer that.)

tonight is Scout Hall-idays and i delivered my "product" this morning. my house looks like an elf bomb went off, so many projects, homework, dishes i've been ignoring all week - you're lucky i'm too tired to take a photo.

i don't know if anyone is going to buy my stuff, but it was really fun getting it all ready. i used an old letterpress wedding invitation set and a cool little antique stamp set to make gift tags - and hung them all up on an awesome little stump display stand that i made myself.
then i pulled together some extra thank you cards from another wedding, and banded them together with my stand-in press name "bremerton letterpress company" and i'm pretty proud of how they turned out, if i may say so. (thanks jess and loren!)
and finally, my sugar skulls from DDLM are finally done, sequins and all. only a month late, come on. so all nine of them are boxed up and waiting to be displayed amongst the contrasting holiday decor. it's gonna look awesome.

this is my very first time trying to sell anything letterpress... excited and nervous. and trying not to get my hopes up. (did i price them right? does anyone even know what letterpress is? is anyone going to notice my awesome packaging? will it sell???).

we shall see.

and i'll give you a full report next week.

have a great weekend!
xoxo,
marit


ps - have i mentioned how much i love 106.9FM this time of year? oh yeah, it's on constantly at our house. and in my car. can't get enough of that comfort and cheer!!!

happy birthday baby baby

today was an amazing day ~ it's your birthday, baby baby!

i woke up to the news that you were born, and headed out to see you right away. it was a cold and gray day. i listened to christmas music on the radio.

your mama was resting, and your dad was holding you when i got there. my mama was there too. your dad let me hold you and i hugged you close for half hour or so, and i didn't want to let  you go. we bonded. you are so precious baby baby! you are such a beautiful baby!

later when the nurse was helping your mama, we told your dad to stay with her and took you out into the hallway. you were swaddled so tight, so comfortable. sorry if the lights were too bright. we listened to another baby being born. we talked to some proud grandparents. mom told me the story of when i was born. i cried cause it was sweet and i don't get enough time with her like that. and i'm glad you were there. it was one of those tender moments that i won't forget.

when i left i kissed you on the cheek, and i heard the nurse say we could go back into the room. room #10. with the pictures of your feet on the wall, your baby ID posted. it was hard to leave you, baby baby.

i went to pike place market today. and i saw the picasso exhibit. i bought you a children's book about the market, and a couple little cashmere socks to keep your big little feet warm! i hope you like. i'm glad you waited to be born until after the giant snow storm, it was way too cold last week.

you still don't have a name, baby baby. so we'll call you baby baby for now.

baby baby, i'm really excited to be your tia. you are so perfect and small now. and you're going to grow up big and strong and happy and healthy. and i will do my best to help take care of you. your parents are so young, but they are doing a good job, they are doing their best ~ and i can tell that they love you so much!!! i will always be here for you too, baby baby, i promise.

i'm so glad you're here and i can't wait to see you again tomorrow. sweet dreams mijita!

love,
your tia marita

it's still snowing, and i'm making lemonade

it's been snowing for more than a day. not only has the snow meant cancelled meetings and cancelled classes, but R gets to stay home from work tomorrow - horray!

snow means my sister comes over and takes a nap on my couch, in front of the fire.

snow means i get to throw on my sammi poncho (is it still a poncho when it's from above the artic circle?) and furry snow packs and walk to coffee with L & R. we met friends and sipped tea. i worked on a baby blanket.

snow means time to get to work on my art projects - i've been invited to join Scout Hall-idays! some of our new friends, Jodi, Alan, and Nancy are putting together a holiday sale at their awesome little boys-scouts-hall-turned-cool-ass-venue. i'm stoked. i wasn't so sure if i could commit until this week, so i didn't make it onto the flier. but if you're in HomeTown on the 3rd or 4th of December, come on by. look for my letterpress gift tags (the lemonade!), letterpress notecards, and mexican sugar skulls

snow means some time to myself when everyone leaves the house to get home, go play b-ball at the y, take the g'rents on their errands. time to myself makes me so happy.

someone pinch me. this is what i'm SUPPOSED to be spending my time doing!!!


so, the lemonade - i'm an aspiring lettepress printer, as many of you know. i am also an unrealistic overacheiving daydreamer. lethal combination. and when approached by my graphic designer cousin, who is also a wedding planner, to do a set of letterpress wedding invitations i jumped at the opportunity. little did i know...


the job turned out to be a disaster. mostly because i haven't worked with uppity clients who know nothing about small press letterpress. in the trauma that ensued, i got some great advice from letterpress heroes of mine, grew some thick skin, and made some changes to the way i do things around here. lessons learned.

and i finally emailed my cousin to smooth things over late this past summer. i think we're cool.

so, i ended up with a big pile of beautiful wedding invitations. it hurt to look at them, but i knew that something good would come from all of it, other than the expensive learned lessons, so i kept them in the "studio". the spell slowly lifted and there isn't much of a sting anymore.

so when nancy asked if i wanted to join the holiday sale at Scout Hall this year, i of course wanted to do something huge, something memorable, something profound.

but R, in true R fashion, suggested i do something simple. why not take those wedding invitations and make gift tags out of them... ?

lemonade, y'all.

pure genius. 
i adore the way the turned out. you'll have to come to the sale to check 'em out.
or stay tuned until after and i'll post photos for all of you who missed out. ;)


a white thanksgiving?!
~ marit

first snow of the season

it's so strange that my last post was for john lennon's birthday. this weekend we went to see 'nowhere boy' and i was surprised how touching it was. hard to explain why someone you've never met can mean so  much to you... you all know what i'm talking about, i'm sure.

i've been away from my blog for a while 'cause i've just been too damn busy. the kind of busy that you can feel in your body, pressure in the chest, nervous mind, restlessness without focus. i guess it's called anxiety. i am in school now, but i'm loving it. so i don't think it's just a matter of having a lot to do. it's more a pressure i've been feeling for a long time but only recently have been able to really acknowledge, and now finally articulate to those around me. (the ones i trust!) and now you all here on my little blog. thanks for being here for me!

for now i'm just enjoying the day off. no stress, no pressure. just me and my computer and the view of snow falling on the picnic table outside. we're supposed to be hibernating this time of year anyway, right?

mammals, every one of us.
~ marit

happy birthday john

Remember when you were young
how the hero was never hung
always got away

Remember the man
used to leave you empty handed
Always , always let you down
If you ever change your mind
about leaving it all behind
Remember , Remember Today

Don't you worry
'Bout what you've done
Don't feel sorry
'bout the way it's gone

Remember
When you were small
How people seemed so tall
Always had their way
Remember your ma and pa
Just wishing for movie stardom
Always , Always playing a part
If you ever feel sad
And the whole world is driving you mad
Remember, Remember Today

~ John Lennon

when life moves so fast

it's friday afternoon and i've been working on my gigantic to-do list all day. letting the kuow pledge drive motivate me to get the laundry done, start unpacking, and repacking, catch up on phone calls and emails. oh the drudgery. i feel like i'm just getting caught up on everything that i put on hold last weekend when reier and i left town to join our college friends to celebrate the marriage of our dear kim, to her beloved slav, at the most amazing and spectacular wedding i've ever attended.
more on the wedding later.
i'm not sure how many of you always have too much to do, and not enough time, but if you're like me it's very rare that you feel like you're actually ahead. how i would love to have that feeling more.
and now, having just been given the chance to head north, for another out-of-town weekend, this time relaxing and hottubbing and reading and talking walks in winter wear, i'm starting to feel like i'm never going to get caught up.
but maybe it's more about my own approach to things, and not a matter of me vs. my list.

it's hard for me to think about never being done with my list, but if i could somehow get the peace of mind, the freedom from anxiety, the serenity, that comes after an hour on the acupuncture table, that feeling from childhood when everything seemed perfectly in place. that feeling that i think i've been chasing most of my life. if i could somehow get that feeling in spite of a long to do list, maybe even while i'm sitting here looking at it, then maybe i can let myself actually have some fun on this adventure called life!

that seems like a much better way of looking at things, doesn't it?

maybe i'll even be able to set aside my homework and board work and do some pleasure reading this weekend. (*gasp!*)

~ marit

the last thing you want to happen is to wake up dead

he used to joke about that, with his brother frank, my dad told me. and he said it again the other day, laughing between wheezing cancerous breathes. laughing through the pain.

and i can't help but smile now, through the tears, when i think of him telling that story.
all the stories, about life and how to really live it.





he was always joking about things.

he was always admiring beautiful things (mostly women).

he was always fighting for something.

it's been a little over 24 hours since i got the news, over the radio, sitting alone in my car in line for the atm machine, that my godfather died at 2am in the morning.









i'm glad i was alone because there was nothing holding me back. i cried hard for who knows how long. i don't even remember if there was anyone behind me. maybe they saw the state i was in and backed up and turned around. maybe no one even noticed. but to me the world stopped.

and i've been crying ever since, but mostly inside. between bites of breakfast. during class. walking through the front door. it's strange how it just hits you, suddenly and constantly at the same time. distractions are good, but i have to keep letting myself process this.

this hole, this heavy heart with roots.

roberto knew me before i was born, and he loved me, and taught me things and told me i was beautiful more than anyone else probably ever has. que linda...

knowing he was walking the earth, spreading sincere brotherly love around like a weapon, nobby fingers holding cigarette buts out his old beacon hill gradeschoolbuildingofficewindow. writing books. forging alliances. Honoring, always honoring, the sacrifices of those who came before, the ones on the streets today. The ones in the streets today. He was there in my heart in 1999, out in the streets, causing a riot. He was there on my wedding day, giving us his blessing...


and driving around the BelovedCity after learning the devastating news, the news that i'm sure was sending shock waves through his family, all his families... i started seeing him everywhere. everywhere, all over the city. in the city so far from his home, his adopted home, his 1970s AIM and chicano movement calling. so far from NM, from the dessert, where everyone is a shade of brown, and the dust s as much a part of you as you are of it. i started seeing him in the faces on the street, the silkscreen red formline design on faded black teeshirt - where'd that gueda get that shirt anyway, he'd ask her bluntly, and with love. he was on the water, as i crossed on the ferry. glass. reflecting one of the most profound cloudscapes i've seen in a very long time. and in my driving, he was there, in my crazy driving through city streets, clutch burning up to cap hill, crossing the back street centerline (why'd he always do that i remember wondering as a preteen when i still thought all rules were made for a very good reason). having to move the car seat forward in the old van every time 'ause chata is so much shorter than him... then again, he never really drove all that much anyway, he alwasy had someone to drive him around, pick people up at the airport, important people. important meetings. in important vans. the people's vans...

the radio told me that the mayor of BelovedCity was flying all the flags at half-staff. that flag he hated. the one he would burn, or worse... but how lucky for the rest of us that we have a mayor who knows how important he is and will always be to the city. what a shift from what i remember growing up...

and then lately, with his sunglasses always on, and the the baret or newsboy that he took to wearing in the last few years. that was a change from the man i knew as a kid. but the public speaking, oh man, that was consistent. never apologizing for his beliefs, or who we was, or what he stood for, or who he stood with.

this is the man who introduced me to mlk's profound take on love and nonviolence, who played basketball with the young kids between cigarette breaks, and kicked their asses at 60. the one who made my grandma blush, ate with a tortilla instead of a fork, the way real we do in my family...




i don't even feel like i have the right to write about him. especially when i haven't thought about it. honored him with more silence, reflection. but i honor him today by speaking my truth, straight from the heart. and at the moment i'm filled with more gratitude and humility than anything else, and i just had to write down something.




i'll miss you always, and never forget your warm embrace. and your wicked sense of humor.

te amo,
~ la marita

cemetary junction

this film was made for those of us who grew up in HomeTown, or any other industrial town like it. and i have to admit it's one of those that makes you laugh and cry, back and forth, back and forth, leaving you feeling all spent and freshened up afterward like you've just witnessed life concentrate. all short and beautiful and bitter sweet. although it took my ears a while to adjust to the outside-of-london british accent, i must recommend it - for its wit as well as its wisdom. i'm just glad i didn't grow up in wealthy family in the 70's. check it out. and let me know what you think...

~ marit

adventures in breathing

here in HomeTown we are blessed with one of the best yoga teachers ever.

ok, so i'm a yoga novice and it's not my place to judge. but some times you enter a class and you meet a teacher and you just know that she's magic. that's how it is with K. and yesterday, the week before school starts, i finally found the time to get back into my yoga practice and show up at a class. it's been months since i stopped going, on account of the house and all the co-op work i've been doing. but it's time. and so i'm back.

and just as synchronicity would have it, reier mentioned the night before that he was interested in a news series being offered at our studio, one that happens late enough in the evening that he'd be able to go with me after work. wow - didn't see that coming. i thought all those sunday morning classes were just his attempt to help me stay centered in the midst of the chaos of the big move from BelovedCity. maybe not, maybe he got something out of them too...

so we decide to take this class, offered by this amazing teacher, and then realize it started last night. ok, we can be spontaneous, so it's still a go.

until i start reading him the class description. (is it a guy thing to not read the fine print?) it's a class all about Pranayama, or learning how to breathe. hold up - reier hates the breathing part of yoga. i mean, he's starting to get really worked up about this. ay-yayay, did he just commit to something he's going to hate? and it's a six-week class??? by now i'm seriously bummed because i thought we just made some serious plans to take a yoga class, together, and that to me sounds like an amazing way to spend a dark autumn evening together.

but, lucky for me (and us both really) K is teaching this Pranayama class, and since i just took a class from her earlier in the day it's fresh in my mind that she's so amazing that no matter what the class is, we're gonna love it.

i must have been pretty convincing. 'cause there we found ourselves. a couple blocks from home, in the second story studio looking out over NeighborhoodPark, over the water beyond, surrounded by middle-age women, looking over drawings of diaphragms, then listening to K's soothing voice, and the occasional snorer (!), and, finally, starting to pay attention to our breathing.

it wasn't a hard class, on the surface. lot's of laying down and breathing.

but there was something profound about turning inward like that. especially together, there in the same room with reier. a sort of tension between the Me and the Us. but in a good way. and K's returning question, Who is the Breather? really got me thinking. yoga is so heady sometimes...

so off we are, on our latest yogic adventure. it's a six week class, and here at the beginning i know absolutely nothing about Pranayama expect that, in yoga, the breath is also the LifeForce inside us and around us, and being able to harness the energy inherent in breath can make our lives better. well, i know that, and i know that learning how to breath might really help my yoga practice. and my yoga practice really helps me live my life better. so it seems like the right place to be right now.

someone in class joked about it changing our lives - dang! can't wait to see what happens, cause i have a sneaking suspicion that it will...

'til next time,
~ marit

my selfish bath

i've been fascinated lately by the concept of selfishness.
what does it mean to take care of ourselves, especially when others feel threatened by it? how does 
a while back someone asked me, point blank: what's so wrong with taking care of yourself?
it was hard to hear, and it was hard to answer. i'm learning that the point isn't to be selfless, it's to be balanced. and so many of us find ourselves swinging violently between protecting ourselves and only seeing the world from our own small perspective, and trying to please others and letting them dictate our happiness.
i've been called selfish many times before, and to me it's one of those hurtful stings that gets right to the heart of my own long-carried shame. isn't it strange how we internalize these messages over the course of our life? how we take on other people's baggage like that?

while i was relaxing in a hot bath last night i stumbled upon this piece in an local natural foods newsletter, and i thought it'd be nice to share it with you. there are many ways i try to take a moment to take care of myself throughout the day. and at the end of the day it means a lot to me to be able to turn inside and take some time out for myself. it's a reset button. i swear, my beautiful bathtub has saved my life.

"It is a reminder to my self and my students that the time we take to calm and nurture ourselves is not a selfish endeavor. We know that when we are stressed and irritable we scowl at other drivers on the road, we are short with our children, we are impatient with the sales clerk who makes a mistake and our negativity ripples through all of our interactions. It is equally true that when we are peaceful and grounded we smile at the child in line in front of us, we have more compassion for the waitress who forgets part of our order and we are more likely to stop what we are doing and look at our spouse when they talk to us. We send waves of peace through our interactions." 

 

- Karen Schwisow, Marlene's Sound Outlook

what do you do to take care of yourself? :)

~ marit

lovely

thanks for posting this chloe! love it.
xoxo
~ marit

friday check in

this week someone described me as 

highly  sensitive,  but  not  fragile. 

i don't think there's ever been a better description of me. 

it was nice to hear myself reflected back so clearly.

i hope i can do that for other people someday. 

~

mostly this week i've just been grateful, and mostly for the awesome friends i have. friends that want to see me grow and get better at being me. friends who are willing to see me at nearly my worst and still help me unpack my kitchen! friends who call just to check in. love love love that. friends who are there when i need someone to call, who make me feel like i'm not alone, like i'm not crazy. and even friends from my childhood that suddenly pop back into my life in the most random of ways. and best friend who i'm lucky enough to call my husband (sooo cheesey i know, but it's true!!!), who's been surprising me lately by letting me get to know parts of him i didn't know before. he's definitely the coolest person i know. so lucky!

these things are pretty cool too: the change in the seasons, books about food, getting to live in a house that i own, getting to take my grandparent's shopping and getting to witness (as hard as it is) the old-age shift in their personalities, my niece's fist day of school photos (i LOVE first day of school photos!), tubbs, a sense of grace that lets me know everything is going to be okay even when it feels like it's so chaotic that i can't breathe and there's no way out, and ripe blackberries.  

 ~

i've also been thinking a lot about how to simplify my life. i do have problem with taking on too much. and i really don't like how busy i've been. (ok, so reier would call it stress. maybe i'm just driven?) in any case, i've made a huge enormous and gigantic effort to not take on anything else right now. and it was weird to see how hard that was. and as soon as it got done being hard, it just felt right. 

ahhh. the fine art of being able to say no. 

~ 

and finally, i want to let you all know that i discovered hulu. it's amazing. and even though we're trying to cut back on expenses (trim the fat, as NH would say), i'm tempted to buy the upgrade because so many of my favorite shows are only available as a handful of episodes available. not fair!!!

how was YOUR week?

xoxo,

marit

someone get over here and hug me!!!

...so i can try this out. :)

i love monica b - she just makes ayurveda so damn precious!!!

hugs and kisses,
~ marit

arayalove

I haven't had my longed-for wednesday in BelovedCity in quite some time, but this week it all fell together quite effortlessly. i had a couple appointments scheduled, but ended up in town before lunch (to get my iphone screen fixed by some great folks) and just so happened to be in the right neighborhood with just enough time on my hands to have lunch at araya's - THE best buffet lunch in the city, bar none.

there's a long history with araya's being one of the centers of college life on the Ave, but it's moved since we all graduated, and it's even better. which is weird. i won't bore you all with the details of student activism and the need for meeting places that provided vegan fare. but those of you who were there, take a moment... remember the smell of that coconut curry? the forgiving crunch of those egg rolls? the seduction of the plum pudding? stuffing ourselves like the impoverished youth that we were???

ahhhh! memories.

if you haven't eaten at araya's, definitely don't go for dinner and order an entree, you must must must try the lunch buffet, served only for limited hours. it is like heaven on a plate. seriously. and totally karma-friendly: they are totally animal-conscious, so everything on the menu is vegan, which means you leave totally stuffed, but your belly is happy and clean. (i don't think i've ever eaten anywhere that left me only those two words to describe my stomach, except maybe the restaurant my sister worked at in manhatten). but this place is so wonderful, light, savory... mmmMH!

go there.

and then go for an acupuncture session after. i swear you'll feel like a new woman.

promise!
~ marit

is this true?!

... ok. didn't think so. but they are pretty awesome most of the time. one time the mailman offered to help me load up a dresser at a garage sale, pretty nice guy. :)

~ marit

happy birthday gary

when my husband was ten years old his father passed away. it was the result of a car accident, leaving a ripple of pain and sorrow. the beginning of a series of losses that i can only begin to try to empathize with. his family has learned to heal and move on in their various ways. but the loss of his father has, of course, always been a huge part of my husband's identity, the way he sees the world, his place in it, his future.
things that are painful are hard to speak of, and there are so many questions unanswered. it's bittersweet for reier and i to begin to gain knowledge about who gary gordon was, to begin to put together a more complete picture of the man, the father, the husband. reier knows so little about him, and i know even less. perhaps someday a more collective family memory will begin to come alive.

today is gary's birthday. and in fourteen years of knowing my husband, this is the first year we have known when his father's birthday is. he was born 64 years ago. the oldest of four, son of midwestern norwegian americans. shipyard worker. west high basketball player. coach. sports fisherman. olympic mountain hiker. family man. it's hard to write about a man i know so little about, but as much as it's possible, i do feel like i know him from the hole that his absence has left has in my own life.  how strange that a child stranger could be so affected, so many years later.

and because of my intensely curious nature, and i can't help but wonder, in what ways has gary influenced the man reier has become, even in the short ten years they had together, what pieces are his unclaimed legacy?

which leads me to wonder what has reier been forced to find elsewhere, or make up on his own?

for me the answers are not necessary, because i know the amazing loving patient kind and generous man that i married is a product of much more than what has happened to him - he's forged an amazing life for himself in spite of and because of everything he's been handed.

i do know one thing with absolute certainty:  the best way to celebrate tonight, since reier's sisters are both out of town, will be to order up a couple of peanut buster parfaits at dq and finally begin to slowly, and very gently, ask some questions.

~ marit


ps: happy ten year anniversary emily and chris!!!

second anniversary holiday

this year our anniversary was amazing. we spent our time on RevitalIsland a place that's a little incubator for our relationship when things are rough, a nearby island paradise that's situated snuggly between HomeTown and BelovedCity. it's a short ferry ride away, but it feels like another world sometimes. especially when on an anniversary honeymoon (that's what we call it).

first things first: we started the trip out by hanging our the ribbons from our wedding on our car. they're like our honeymoon flag. everyone always smiles at us and doesn't expect to see us doing anything but staring into each other's eyes where ever we go. 

this is the most beautiful and yummy smelling bouquet i've ever gotten. reier picked it up for small change. the roses smell like roses (still!), the mint and the sweet peas, mmmh! i could eat a bouquet like this for breakfast. this was the second sweetest gift reier gave to me for our anniversary.

i must say, reier did a very nice job planning ahead this year. he found (cause that's what he does best) something that i've been wanting for a very long time... a manual camera!!!
i know nothing about real photography, but it's a little hard to learn until you have your own. it was super fun to pull all the different lenses and accessories out of this old camera bag from the 70's. this is one of the coolest gifts anyone has ever given me. and even better that he didn't have to spend much money (just on film, and a new camera bag). and even bestest that reier had at least as much fun taking pictures with it than i did ~ there might finally be a few pictures of me laying around! i took all these photos for the blog with my iPhone (i still adore you iPhone!), since it's much easier to upload photos that are already digital, and i'm not exactly sure when i'll have the 35mm prints back since i refuse to pay bartell's $10 per roll of 24 exp. what a racket!

this is the farm where we stayed, our StoryBookFarm ... felt like we were living in one of the books from my childhood... watershipdown, secretgarden, redwall, mossflower... anyone... anyone???

and here's where we stayed, in a little cottage built up inside the barn, which is filled with cedar lumber (the barn, not the cottage), filling my head with other smells from my childhood... climbing cedar tress, woodworker father... anyone... anyone???

and the little handwritten note from judy the innkeeper was the perfect touch! she really liked reier, wanted to tell us all the best places to go thriftshopping. love her!

the cottage was bigger than it needed to be, lots of little rooms to nap and eat and snack and make out in. even a sweet little porch off the back looking over the dog run and fruit orchard below.

a sweet kitchen that reminds me of my auntie ingie's old kitchen in the woods...

and, in case i was to miss my fabulous new bathtub at home, the cottage had it's own little bath, in a bathroom bigger than our bedroom at home. it's most wonderful way i've learned to relax.

the second best way i've learned to relax is tea - oh glorious tea! and boy oh boy does RevitalIsland have a niiiice assortment of all the tinctures and refreshments i could ever need. 

the roasterie is the place to be. from the teas shown above, to local frozen salmon, medicinal herbs in the bulk, chocolate bars... rich dark coffee... lotions... wonderfully loving staff and patrons. i could go here every day for the rest of my life and be satisfied. (as long as there was a yoga studio upstairs, and my reier to be my date.)

inside looks a lot like the vision of our food co-op for HomeTown: "grangey". between the wood floors, the wide open spaces, the high ceilings, the locals hanging around, i couldn't help but get excited about the local food coop we're starting in HomeTown. the coop is much more than a brick and mortar store, which is why we're putting so much work into setting it up right from the beginning, but it sustains me in the work to know that we're working towards something concrete, with the look and feel of a place like this. a place with history, character, integrity...

across the street from the roasterie is a cool old building that's for lease. with the most amazing storefront and porch. i could totally see my letterpress studio there.

next we followed signs to a farm stand and discovered a farm where a young couple was harvesting veggies in a field just off the driveway.

the farmer couple noticed the awesome "real camera" slung around  my neck and made a comment, we chatted for a bit and they invited us to lift the screen fencing and come on in to look around, take pictures, etc. we headed straight for the chicken first, of course (because we LOVE chickens!), but the best part was probably getting to pet the ears of this fellow...

i've never touched a pig before. i loved them!!! so dirty and happy!!! the whole place was pretty magical, from the pretty little hankerchiff hung on on a barbwire fence, to the second family of chickens watched over by a giant white rooster, to the rows of lettuce, raspberries, or this secret-garden tunnel of kiwi...

and we had to stop by the farm stand and pick up some produce to bring home to our kitchen. the sign on the wall invited us to check out the farm blog, and you should too. 

besides exploring farms we did a lot of junking, something else we love love love to spend our time doing. there's so many things we're looking for with an empty house waiting at home. we packed out the hatchback pretty well. here's a shot of our back seat. there's a new stool for the kitchen peninsula, a bag of onions, my new camera case (!), a party dress, and a menu for our new favorite place to eat on RevitalIsland.

everything is to-go, and they serve a perfect little garden salad, complete with flowers and my favorite dressing: lemon tahini. (there's nowhere to find tahini in HomeTown!) but my favorite meal from our favorite place to eat was this beautiful serving of tofu with peanut sauce.

and that photo pretty much sums up the trip, at least for me. gorgeous, healthy, happy and content.

~


happy feel-good anniversary to you Reier ~ to the love of my life, my best friend and my inspiration. you are gorgeous in every way. it's been fun to think back to our fabulous wedding day two years ago, but it's even better to think about what's next!

i love you,
~ marit